A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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