roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Where's my tractor?

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Nice weather we're having.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops