Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +32

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

7

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Unflushed Shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops