Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

lick my ballsack.... ok

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i eat poop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops