Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Women

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where's my shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops