There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

The Bible

Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Women

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...