Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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You just won the game...

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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