A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what do you call a black man named mike

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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