What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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b

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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