What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Where's my tractor?

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Women Voting

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops