wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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That didn't hurt.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops