Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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math test 2=2

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Your social life

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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