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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

*you're

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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