Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

elliot forsythe is a paedo

What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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