Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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