A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Knock knock What

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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