whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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