1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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