Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Chuck Norris died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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George Bush.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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Guess what? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops