What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mr. Burns sex scandal.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Guess what? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops