What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Cows go moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti jokes gives me cold sores

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A fat boy walked into a party

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops