A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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A child with cancer grows up.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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Don't think of granny porn

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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