Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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