Enchilada

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Women

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Sonic

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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