A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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wnba

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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