What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What is next?

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Hi.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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My mom.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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Hello

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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