That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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