Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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women playing football?

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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What is the difference between a duck?

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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