You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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What sucks?

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Hellen Keller

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops