You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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