Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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PUDDING

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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Hello

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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