What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops