A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

Christians pornstars.

wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

baby loves lalma

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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