what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Anti jokes.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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The Bible

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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