Matty B

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Women's rights...

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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