A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

BWAT

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

Black Veil Brides.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...