What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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a black father

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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