what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Can I touch it?

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops