Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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