Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

i love huge wieners.

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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