I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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knock knock

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A jew go out of a bar

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Obama

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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