Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

Two women were sitting quietly.

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...