A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Is this a chair?

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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