Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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anne hatthaway

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Enchilada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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