cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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GONNA

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops