What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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women have rights

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops