A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

No it isn't.

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What is worse

What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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