potatoes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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2

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Trashcan!

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h

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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