Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

What rhymes with turtle? Rape

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

A seal walks into a club.

Vagina-Boob

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

Women's rights...

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Hey, we're both lawyers.

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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