Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Knock knock What

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Turn around.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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