- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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like for a handjob.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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A fat boy walked into a party

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops