Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Potato.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Japan called... They need help.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Romney 2012

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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oh hiya come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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