why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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boobs

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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