Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Romney 2012

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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240

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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