How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

im a selling a car

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Barack Obama

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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